


Gomen, Kisama

by YourShadow



Series: Schadenfreude [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blink and you'll miss it, F/M, Pairing is slight, Some Humor, cussing in foreign languages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1841836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa has a catchphrase that is very obscene and uses it when fighting titans. And also for rejecting Jean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gomen, Kisama

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan nor am I otaku enough to know Japanese. 
> 
> Warning: Foul language (in other languages). Possible manga spoilers.
> 
> Mikasa and her favorite catchphrase, like yippee-ki-yay motherfucker. Thanks to Lefitte (Lefi) for translation help!

_Sorry, Motherfucker_

Mikasa wasn’t one to mince words, but she could be quite vulgar when she wanted to be. The 104th squad realized this when they listened to her fight. Her words matched Levi’s profane statements, expression just as deadly and serious, to make the squad wonder if they were related.

But of course, her catchphrase was the killer.

The fierce soldier swung in the air, blades ready, falling toward a titan with its back bared. As she sliced the skin on its neck, she cried, “Gomen, kisama!”

Armin blinked. It wasn’t the first time she said it, but he could never get over the odd phrase. An apology…and an insult? He wasn’t sure exactly what she meant. Was she genuinely sorry for killing the titan, or was she being cruel? He didn’t know whether he should bring it up to her, so he discussed it with Eren instead.

“Why do you think she says that?”

“Says what?” Eren mumbled around his food. Armin cringed at his friend’s atrocious table manners.

“You know…that weird catchphrase of hers.”

“What, the kisama thing? Well it’s an insult.” He shrugged.

“But she says sorry first! Did she ever say that kind of stuff at home?” Armin asked, confused as to why Eren wasn’t more interested.

“Not really. She doesn’t cuss much. Guess heichou has grown on her.” He shrugged again.

Armin thought about it for a moment, then had an idea. “So should I ask Captain Levi about it?”

Eren spit out his drink, coughing and wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “ _No_. I wouldn’t say anything about it to him.”

“Why not? They’re both really obscene in their language sometimes. You know he cusses you out in French, right?”

“He what?!” Eren exclaimed, glancing over at the Captain on the other side of the room.

Armin blinked. “You didn’t know that? What did you _think_ he was saying?”

“I don’t speak French, Armin! I didn’t read all the books you did as a kid! Besides, I thought it was a love confession or something. French is romantic, right?”

Armin sighed. “Eren, just because someone says something in French, doesn’t mean they’re saying something romantic. And no, they’re certainly not love confessions.”

They were silent for a few minutes, both focusing on their food. Armin kept chewing over what Mikasa’s words meant when Eren spoke again.

“So what exactly was he saying?”

***

Mikasa was simply doing some training on her own while her friends ate. She wasn’t very hungry, and Armin kept giving her weird looks so she decided to leave them alone. They were probably talking about her right now. She didn’t care.

She noticed someone else’s presence nearby and stopped, turning to see Jean shuffling his feet, head down. She sighed. He was going to ask her out. Again.

“Hey, uh, Mikasa?” Jean said quietly, voice strained. He still didn’t look up to meet her eyes. If it was lighter outside, she would probably see a blush on his cheeks.

“What is it, Jean?” she asked in a bored tone. She didn’t have time for this shit. She had a bet with Levi she refused to lose.

“Um…I just…you…you fought well today.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes and Jean didn’t notice because he still wouldn’t look at her. “Get to the point, Kirstein.”

“Mikasa Ackerman, will you please go out with me?” he burst, finally lifting his head, expression pleading and hopeful, yet wary of a negative response. She looked at him with dead eyes, hand on her hip.

“No.”

His face fell, shoulders slumped forward, head dipping once again. “Oh.” He mumbled abjectly. Mikasa waited for him to leave, but he just kept standing there.

“Anything else?” she prompted.

“You’re just really pretty.” He replied faintly.

“You always say that.” She was getting irritated now. He did this every day. Why couldn’t he see she just didn’t feel that way about him?

“It’s just how I feel.” He mumbled again, a pathetic little puppy.

She took a deep breath and let it out, softening her features. “Gomen.” He perked up, smiling slightly, and finally started to walk away. “…kisama.” She muttered under her breath when he was out of range.

***

Each time Mikasa slayed a titan, she said her now infamous catchphrase. Armin believed that when she died, they would carve it on her gravestone.

Eren was in titan form when he felt Mikasa land on his shoulder. She flew all around him during battle, taking out titans he missed or were trying to overwhelm him. He felt someone else alight on his other shoulder and assumed it was Armin.

“Nice catchphrase, Ackerman.” Levi acknowledged, lifting his chin in greeting. She mirrored the gesture and he took off, soaring ahead of them, muttering “Eren, tu petite merde,” under his breath.

Eren’s titan form let out a confused sound, glancing at Mikasa with questioning eyes.

“Don’t think too much about it, Eren. I can already see the steam coming out of your ears.” She joked drily and took off after the Captain.

Eren found Armin on a rooftop nearby and tilted his head, pointing in their direction.

“I gave up trying to figure them out.”

“Gomen, kisama!” Mikasa yelled in the distance.

***

“You ready for our bet?” Levi asked, quirking his eyebrow, arms crossed. Mikasa turned toward him, eyes hard. He smirked.

“You bet, lowchou.”

He scowled at the nickname as she chuckled, leading the way outside. He followed quickly, short legs attempting to keep up with her long ones.

Armin and Eren (as well as a few other curious bystanders) were standing behind the corner, watching as they left the barracks. With a quick nod, the group followed silently. Mikasa lead Levi into the woods, and Armin had to hold Eren back when they assumed this would be a late night hookup.

“You’ve been training?” Levi asked as they started to stretch.

“Of course.” She replied.

“I doubt it was enough.”

“That’s what we’re here to decide, right?” she smirked back at him.

Eren and Armin caught the hint of a bet between Mikasa and their Captain a few days ago, after noticing her training more often than usual. The boys kept seeing glances between Mikasa and Levi whenever they were in the same room together. Coupled with her foul language and his appreciation of it, the friends wondered if there was something going on. They started listening in to their conversations, picking up on challenges and taunts.

“I swear if he’s fucking my sister…” Eren growled.

“I don’t even think she’s into guys.” Jean stated.

“Just because she won’t date _you_ doesn’t mean she won’t date other guys!” Eren yelled. He was shushed by the rest of the group, who glared at him while he gave a semi-sheepish expression in return.

“Sounds like we have an audience.” Levi said loudly, glancing in their direction.

“Nice job, Jaeger.”

“Shut up, Kirstein.”

“Why don’t you all come out?” Levi called. He turned to Mikasa. “You won’t mind as they watch you lose, right?”

“I’m not going to lose. You sure your pride can handle it if the whole squad sees you get beat?” she countered.

He chuckled as the group came forward.

“Enough chatter. Let’s do this.”

“Agreed.”

Eren closed his eyes, but Armin kept his open. The two black-haired warriors clashed in the middle, throwing a fist out here and a kick out there. Eren flinched every time he heard a grunt or cry of attack.

“Eren, you can open your eyes.”

“I don’t wanna see it, Armin.”

“They’re just fighting, you idiot.” Jean muttered.

Eren’s eyes snapped open. “What?!”

“It’s the match of the century! Levi, Humanity’s Strongest, versus Mikasa, Humanity’s Scariest! Will the veteran win out against this young newcomer? Or will the student best the master?” Connie announced.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Providing commentary.”

“Stop.”

Mikasa swung and Levi dodged, sending a kick in her direction. She jumped back, avoiding the hit. They circled each other for a moment and then dove back in. The squad watched in morbid fascination as the fight went on. Both opponents landed a few hits, but they appeared equal in terms of fighting strength.

“Putain!” Levi yelled when Mikasa got a good hit in.

“Baka!” she shrieked when he punched her back.

“I officially dub these two as Humanity’s Strongest Pair.”

“Connie I swear I will _kill you_.”

“Ease up, Eren. Since when did you care about Mikasa anyway? Or is it Levi you’re worried about?” Jean sneered.

“Can it, horse-face.” Eren growled. “Mikasa is my sister, and Captain Levi is my superior. I don’t want to see them fighting.”

“This match is so intense…. _I love it_.” Connie panted.

“That’s it.” Eren snarled, putting his hand to his mouth.

“Don’t even think about it, Jaeger!” Levi called in the middle of the fight.

“Scheiẞe…” Eren grumbled, dropping his hand.

“Don’t get distracted, Heichou!” Mikasa replied, landing a punch in his gut. He placed a hand over the hit and smirked again.

“You’ve gotten better.”

“Or you’ve gotten old.”

“I’m not that old!”

The fight went on for hours. Half the group went back to their rooms to sleep. Both fighters were bleeding, sweating, and breathing heavily. For a while Levi appeared to be winning, but Mikasa’s stamina was winning out. They were at their final moments now. A few more hits and one of them would be down for the count.

“Come on Mikasa! You can do it!” Eren cheered.

“Why the fuck are you cheering _her_ on?” Levi spat, looking offended.

Eren paused for a moment. “Go Heichou go! Kick her ass!”

“That’s better.” Levi muttered, wiping the blood from his mouth. Armin shook his head. Jean gave Eren a betrayed look.

“She’s your _sister_!”

“She shouldn’t pick fights with her superiors.” Eren said, matter-of-fact with his arms folded over his chest and a slight nod.

“You’re unbelievable. I’m rooting for you Mikasa!” Jean yelled, waving.

“Still don’t like you!” Mikasa called back, striking at Levi who bent backward to avoid the blow, then sprang back with a jab to her face. “Stop distracting us you twits!”

“Gomenasai!” Jean and Eren both cried. Again, Armin looked astonished at their behavior.

The strategist knew Mikasa was going for her finishing move by the way her eyes tightened and her fists clenched decisively. He paid careful attention to the way she twisted her body, feinting to one side when she intended to strike from the other. Either Levi missed the tactical maneuver, or he was getting tired, because her attack worked to knock him off his feet. The group grew silent.

She took a victorious stance, foot planted on his chest and fist in the air.

_Don’t say it don’t say it don’t don’t fucking say it Mikasa I swear to—_

“Gomen…!” Armin sighed and face-palmed. “KISAMAAAAAAA!” she roared triumphantly.

“I let you win.” Levi growled, throwing her off.

“Just admit it, old man. I beat you. We even have witnesses.” Mikasa crowed, pointing to the three still left (after Eren threatened him again, Connie ran back to the barracks, not putting much faith in Levi to stop the kid from going titan in the middle of his fight). He grumbled, refusing to admit his defeat.

“Two out of three.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sore loser.”

***

They were once again on the battlefield. Bodies were strewn across the ground, mud churning with blood amidst the stomping feet of titans. Screams, cries of pain and anguish, the stench of fear and regret rang heavy in the air.

Mikasa paused, panting, staring at the carnage before her. For once, she faltered. For once, she wondered if they would win. For once, she was scared.

“Where’s your catchphrase, Ackerman?” Levi landed nearby, sizing her up. He could see her shaking limbs.

She swallowed. “It doesn’t seem appropriate right now, sir.”

He hesitated, wishing he had something to say to make her braver. “Look, kid, we gotta get back out there. Eren needs you. Humanity’s Strongest Pair, right?” Levi wasn’t going to demean her by pointing out how terrified and broken she looked. Acknowledging the inevitable would only worsen her condition. He knew because he felt the same, he was just better at hiding it. Their resolve was weakening, though.

She nodded, a blank expression taking over her features. She took a deep breath and focused on her rage, on her protectiveness, on her ferocity. Her hands tightened around her blades, and she propelled forward with a snarl. He let a small smile appear. _That’s my girl_.

They were cutting back the onslaught, beating the enemy back. Eren’s roar commanded the titans and they began to turn on each other. She had hope in her eyes again.

It was fast. One moment she was flying, the next she was gasping for air as the titan tumbled, taking her with it.

She was close to reaching Eren, so focused as he flew toward him, until she was snatched. Her gear lines snapped, whiplash hit her as she felt a hand squeeze her ribs, arms free but legs caught up in the palm of the titan holding her.

“Mikasa!” Levi called, changing direction to go after her. Eren turned, sensing the tone of Levi’s voice and recognizing his sister’s name, and let out a roar. He charged toward her, knocking other titans out of the way, but they blocked him, clinging and trying to pull him down.

Levi sliced the titan’s neck and dove for its hand, slicing it off from the wrist and landing on the thumb, prying the fingers away. Mikasa’s crumpled body fell out, rolling on the ground. Her legs were twisted, bones nearly ground into dust. Some of her ribs were sticking out of her uniform, staining the white, ripping the jacket.

Levi knelt beside her. Lifted her upper body, mouth open but nothing to say.

“Go…”

“I can’t leave you.”

“Go…men…”

“Hush, we’ll get you help.” He was choking, swallowing to clear his throat.

“Ki…”

“No, Mikasa you’ll make it.”

“…sama…” she breathed her last, slumping back in his arms.

Eren’s cry of grief and hatred, a loud, high-pitched yet deep roar of desolation, rose over all other sounds of battle. The titans stopped, turning to stare at the pair on the ground. Eren took a step forward, arms out, reaching. He let out a weaker cry, taking another step. He collapsed on his knees, keening with his head raised to the sky.

***

Armin was right. On Mikasa’s gravestone they carved ‘Gomen, Kisama’ as a memorial to her last words.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: (If you want, just pretend those last scenes didn’t happen.) This phrase is strange, even in Japanese terms, and can be roughly translated into many interpretations, such as ‘Sorry, you bastard’ or ‘Sorry, you fucking bastard’ although you won’t catch too many people actually saying it because it’s a bit of an oxymoron, as I understand it. So, feel free to interpret it however you want, but the gist is to be an insult and not a sincere apology. Also, if you haven’t seen Die Hard, you haven’t lived (haha it’s a pun). As for the rest: “tu petite merde” means “you little shit” in French, “Putain” is also French for an insult, like “whore” but is apparently used like fuck, “Scheiẞe” is German for “shit” and you should all know what “baka” means.


End file.
